Perimenopause: A Science-Backed Love Letter to My Nervous System

It’s 4:12am.
I wake up to a familiar cramp and that ugh feeling. Surprise, my period is here. Two weeks early.
What am I, 17 again? Only now with bills, a child, and back pain.

I shuffle to the bathroom in a daze, whispering affirmations like, “It’s fine, I’m fine, this is normal.” (It is not fine.)

I crawl back into bed, hoping for 2 more hours of sleep.
I get 40 minutes.
And then?

The rage.

Not “grumpy.” Not “mood swing.”
I’m talking “my coffee tastes like I want to burn down the entire house” rage.

Suddenly, everything is wrong.
The spoon in the sink? Rude.
The sound of someone chewing? Illegal.
My partner existing in my field of vision? Offensive.

And here’s the worst part:
I can see it happening. I know I’m being irrational.
But I feel possessed.
Like something primal and pissed off has hijacked my body and I’m just the unwilling passenger, silently screaming, “I swear I’m usually really nice!”

What’s Actually Happening (a.k.a. This Isn’t Just You)

If you’ve ever thought:

• “Why am I crying because someone ate the last pickle?”

• “Is my skin trying to suffocate me from the inside?”

• “How can I be exhausted and wired at the same time?”

• “I used to be so chill. Now I’d fight someone for breathing too loudly.”

Welcome to perimenopause.

It’s not just about periods changing. It’s a neuro-hormonal identity earthquake.

Here’s what the science says (don’t worry, I’ll keep it in plain English):
During perimenopause, estrogen and progesterone levels begin to fluctuate wildly and those hormones directly influence your brain’s neurotransmitters, especially the ones responsible for mood regulation, sleep, memory, and emotional stability.

Pair that with the amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) becoming hyper-reactive due to hormonal changes and… boom. That sock on the floor suddenly is the last straw.

Oh, and while your hormones are partying unsupervised, your prefrontal cortex (rational brain) takes a little coffee break. So if you're not able to “just calm down,” it’s because the part of your brain responsible for regulation has gone on strike.

What I Know to Be True (and Had to Learn the Hard Way)

I cannot mindset my way out of this season.
I can’t affirm my ovaries into compliance.
I can’t manifest my way into hormonal balance (I tried).

But I can change how I relate to what’s happening inside of me.

And that? That’s where EFT tapping comes in.

So... What Is EFT and Why Does It Work?

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is a body-based practice that combines gentle tapping on acupuncture points with specific verbal statements. It helps calm the amygdala, reduce cortisol, and basically tells your nervous system: “Hey babe, you’re safe. We’ve got this.”

In a 2012 study, just one hour-long EFT session lowered cortisol levels by 43%. (That’s a bigger drop than traditional talk therapy or rest alone.)

It’s not about forcing yourself to feel better.
It’s about gently interrupting the loop of panic → shame → spiraling → suppression → rage-cleaning → collapse... and giving your body a safe path back to center.

Tapping helped me move from:

• “What is wrong with me?”
  to

• “Oh. My nervous system is overwhelmed. What do I need?”

It's not magic. But it feels magical when your inner critic quiets, your jaw unclenches, and your body starts trusting you again.

What This Season Is Teaching Me

Perimenopause is wild.
It’s weird.
It’s shedding.
It’s remembering.
It’s rage and reinvention and sweat and softness, all tangled together.

I can’t control when my period decides to ghost me or how long I’ll be up at 3am.
But I can choose to stop fighting my body and start supporting it.

And when I do that through tapping, through nervous system care, through being honest about how damn hard this is—it changes everything.

If this hit home for you, you’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
And you don’t have to white-knuckle your way through this.

This summer, I’m holding a 6-week tapping circle just for women in perimenopause.
We’ll tap, breathe, rage (lovingly), and rewire the way we hold this transition, together.

🎥 Want a taste of what it feels like?
👉 Watch this short free tapping video

Or if your nervous system already whispered yes:
💛 Join the Perimenopause Summer Circle here

See you in the circle,
Carly